


Memento

by a_secret_scribbler



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren Fluff, Armitage has secrets, Bickering space babies, Fluff, I don’t know what else to tag, I said don’t touch, Kylo Ren in Love, M/M, don’t touch those bottles, kylo buys really cheap nasty figurines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-19 21:22:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18978613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_secret_scribbler/pseuds/a_secret_scribbler
Summary: Kylo learned about love from romance novels. Hux learned about love from Kylo.





	Memento

Memento

 

 

And now, dear reader, I shall commence upon the tale of how our Glorious Leader, Kylo Ren, for yes it is him, discovered the true depths of General Hux’s feelings towards him. Quickly now, don’t tarry, lest this story be diluted upon lingering.

 

“...And take this ridiculous gewgaw with you!”

 

The small porcelain figurine of two Ewoks kissing over a broken fence flew at him, and had he not used the force to deflect it, Kylo would almost certainly have suffered the loss of an eye, or worse.

 

The object spun in mid flight, took a sharp left turn and veered towards the bookshelf. Upon impact it shattered (Oh cheap and nasty bauble!) and in doing so dislodged a small bottle from row of the same, all lined up with military precision. Now, Kylo had been instructed, upon first visiting the private quarters of General Armitage Endeavour Hux (his mother had been a fan of classic ITV drama as a girl), NOT too touch nor even look at these very same bottles, so of course, when his teacup Tinkerbelle had exited the room, Kylo had immediately rushed to look and found most of them to be disappointingly empty. But that was eleven weeks ago, let us get back to this bottle, which is even now hurtling with utmost haste towards a very unforgiving floor. 

 

Now Kylo can move, he can wave his laser wand so fast it becomes but a pretty sparking blur in his soon to be deceased victims eye, but he’s never seen speed like the way his precious little carrot stick flew towards that falling bottle. Hands outstretched, he moved even faster than Kylo’s dad had flown the Kessle Run, now let me add here that Kylo, on thinking of this synonym,immediately became crestfallen and recognised feelings of something that his old master had once reassured him was guilt, and not gout as he had first suspected. Had Kylo known that his father was now living his best life in a Wookiee commune with a small group of Chewie’s less than savoury cousins, his guilt would have been somewhat lessened, but as he is as of yet unaware of this plot twist, let us get back to our tale of Hux flying at speed towards the falling bottle, faster than a fast thing, and definitely nothing like Kylo’s father, no, nothing like him at all.

 

Kylo did a rapid calculation in his head, it is a little known fact that Jedi training involves advanced mathematics, and lots of other clever stuff (™️), this came about after it was discovered that the young graduates of Jedi school could swing a lightsaber like a berserker, but couldn’t tie their own shoelaces, upon this knowledge being discovered the syllabus was widened somewhat. Back to the calculation, Kylo worked out that even if Hux flew across the room like that person we shall not mention here, who flew the ship of hatred and loathing really, really fast, Hux would still not manage to catch the falling bottle before it hit the ground. Kylo did what Kylo does so well, he stretched out his hand, commanded the force, and the bottle ceased its fall and hovered in the air 5 inches off the floor.

 

Hux, on realising that all was not lost, completed his own manoeuvre with a flamboyant cartwheel and landed on both feet crying out “And dismount!” for years of gymnastics training at the academy will out. He snatched up the bottle and brought it up to his lips, bestowing upon it a tender kiss.

 

None of this went unnoticed by Kylo, who having command of both his eyes, turned them towards his pretty little firecracker and witnessing the kiss and the genuine look of relief on his delicate features, demanded, in his best Supreme Leader voice, “Is this item precious to you?” He added extra power to the statement by grinning disturbingly and flicking his hair like a princess.

 

“What this trifle?...No! Of course not! It’s just a...a thing...I collect them...things...you know me, I can’t resist a thing. I see one and I’ve just got to own it...Huh...things...I just love them...”

 

Kylo was almost fooled, and had he not seen the delicate blush that bloomed upon his beloved pickle-peen’s cheeks, he would have dropped the enquiry immediately. But see it he did.

 

“You are lying to me!” He gasped, clutching at his breast like the heroine in the novel he had read one summer break. He’d found the book under Chewie’s seat in the vessel belonging to the person who definitely shall not be named, not now, nor never, no siree. The heroine in this book specialised in gasping, breast clutching, and sighing longingly, all of which had greatly informed Kylo’s understanding of love and romance.

 

“Damn your pretty eyes!” shouted Hux, his plans thwarted.

 

“Tell me all, you minx, or I shall have you flogged!” Kylo demanded, standing hands on hips, legs apart, his best profile on full display, just like the hero in the book he found under the seat in the...well yes, you already know about that...

 

“This ‘thing’ of which you speak, is it of some value to you?” Kylo asked using his indoor voice.

 

Hux looked at the tiny bottle in his hand and sighed, “Yes you varmint, damn you for seeing through my carefully constructed web of lies!”

 

“May I see?” Kylo asked, holding out his mighty paw.

 

Hux gathered himself, which didn’t take long, he was of slight build, and fairy marched over to the looming presence across the room. To be fair Kylo tried not to loom, he’d even had lessons, but loom he did. On inspecting the bottle Kylo could see nothing, though he held it as close to his eyes as his magnificent nose would allow. 

 

“Is it not empty?” he asked. He was no fool, he had the certificate to prove it.

 

“There is but one tiny thing inside, almost invisible to the human eye,” Hux mumbled quietly. He had recently received instruction on how not to shout from Phasma, and was pleased that he was able to draw upon his learning now.

 

Kylo looked closer, and to be sure, there in the bottom of the bottle, lay a delicate thread, curled into a tight spiral. “What is this?” He demanded softly, he’d graduated with first class honours in all levels of demanding, his grandfather would have been proud.

 

“It’s a hair, alright! A stupid hair!” Hux pouted his best pout, the one he usually saved for birthdays and Bar Mitzvah’s. 

 

“Who’s hair?” Kylo asked, though secretly he already knew. No one else’s hair could curl so prettily and command the bottle with such presence.

 

“Yours! Your stupid hair. Alright! I found it on my pillow after our first liaison, and, God’s help me, I took it as a memento, a token, a memory of my deflowering!”

 

Kylo’s features softened as a smile spread from his generous mouth, taking a slow detour around his nose, did I mention it’s magnificence, It really is a doozy, and up to his eyes. “That’s kind of cute. Oh! That’s almost sentimental!” He knew this because he’d read about it in that book of Chewie’s that he’d found...I digress...

 

Hux blushed a deeper shade of pink, which clashed horribly with his hair, but could not be helped. “Oh shut up!” he yawped, turning sharply in a move that had won him gold in the floor section of the Arkansas Gymnastic Championship. He marched, swinging his perfect arse, to the bookshelf and placed the bottle back with its kin.

 

“So, what’s in the others?” Kylo wheedled, whispering in his ear, he had the unnerving quality of being able to move almost silently, unusual in such a brute.

 

“Just other bits I’ve collected. A scrap of paper from the memo you shredded after the first meeting of the “Let’s build Hux a new Starkiller Base Committee. A tear from your desk that I found after I’d disturbed you when you were reading that old book that you keep hidden under the pilots seat in the Upsilon. A wrapper from the sweets you suck on so you don’t get travel sick. A flake of your dandruff...”

 

“Dandruff! I don’t get dandruff!” Kylo roared, slamming his fist into the bookshelf. There was a pause as they both readied themselves for action...

 

Fortunately only one bottle was lost beyond repair that night, and Kylo made absolutely sure that it was the one containing the alleged flake of dandruff. The rest of the afternoon was spent pleasantly in bed, Kylo’s head resting on his pouty-faced pixies’ naked belly, tracing circles around his navel and singing quietly “Hux and Kylo sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G” and “He loves me, He loves me not, nah, he really loves me, he loves me loads...”

 

Hux feigned annoyance, but was quite frankly too fagged out to insist on Kylo ceasing his juvenile behaviour, and besides which he was basking in the quite marvellous afterglow of a damned good shagging.

 

The End.


End file.
